How Béninois Are You?

 

I've created a quiz that will allow you to assess your inner Béninois, and see how well you would fit in here:

1. You have just opened a hair salon, and are deciding on a name for your new establishment. After much deliberation, you decide on:

A. Good Clips

B. Hair Salon

C. (Insert your name)'s Hair Salon

D. The Joy and Peace of our Great and Loving God Hair Salon

2. You are a taxi driver, and make your living driving a car that was created to seat 5 people, including yourself, and you make continual trips all day long from Ouidah to Cotonou. On an average trip you transport:

A. Up to 4 passengers, but they must be in the car and prepared to leave on time. Time is money, so you will leave promptly when you planned, regardless of whether or not your car is full.

B. 4 passengers and yourself, making 5 in total, because that's how many the car was designed to hold.

C. Usually 4 passengers, but if a fifth one wants to come along, you can squeeze him/her into the middle section between yourself and the other passenger up front.

D. A minimum of 6 passengers, 4 squeezed into the back seat, and 2 up front with you, and you won't leave the station until your car is full. The extra $1.20 you get from each of the two extra people more than covers the $1.00 fee/bribe the gendarmes (highway police) might charge if you get stopped for having too many people in the car.

3. You just inherited a TV from your uncle, and would like to receive a few channels on it so you can keep up with some of your favorite soap operas and watch the latest music videos. You acquire these channels by:

A. Buying a cable that you plug into the cable access already built into your house.

B. just watching these shows online on your computer, since you have internet in your house. You save the TV for watching movies.

C. Buying a satellite dish.

D. Attaching a metal receiver and some wires to a very long bamboo shoot, which is connected to your house and your TV. Why pay for an overpriced satellite dish when this is cheaper and works almost as well?

A whole community of bamboo satellites.

4. You are an elderly woman and you run a fruit stand where a customer has just purchased a coconut, which she has asked you to open for her because she doesn't know how to do it herself. You:

A. Refuse, not wanting to violate any federal health codes, insisting that she should open it herself at her house.

B. Gently cut it open with a kitchen knife.

C. Grab a machete, and chop it open with a few swift and efficient strokes.

D. Cheerfully comply, and repeatedly slam the coconut on the sidewalk (which many people have used as their bathroom) until it finally cracks open. Then you take a knife and pry out the meat from the shell, and place it neatly into a plastic bag. Your method has just motivated the customer to become self-sufficient and start opening her coconuts at her house, in order to avoid having them opened on the sidewalk/public bathroom.

5. You need to type up a document and print it out. You perform this task by:

A. Turning on your personal computer and printer, and doing it all yourself.

B. Heading over to the local library where you can use the computer for free, and print it yourself afterward for a minimal fee.

C. Using a computer at the cybercafe, which may or may not work.

D. Going to the nearest “Saisie” where there will be a woman with at least a middle school education who can type up your document for you as you dictate it to her, and then print it out for you afterward. But since the electricity just went off city-wide, you'll have to wait for it to come back on before you bother going over there.

6. You are a Béninois child, and are playing on the side of the street when a yovo (white person) walks by. You react by:

A. Ignoring them, as you are very self-involved and don't care about what is happening around you.

B. Being uninterested, since there are white people everywhere, making this a common occurrence, and nothing to get excited about.

C. Smiling politely and waving as you great them with a “Bonjour”.

D. Interrupting what you were doing and frantically announcing this person's presence by shouting, “YOVO!!” at the top of your lungs and waving as hard as possible. This is the most exciting thing to happen to you today, and you don't want anyone within a half mile radius to miss this wonderful moment. Then you and all your friends who are with you start grinning and singing a song you and every other child in Bénin seem to have known since birth, “Yovo, yovo, bonsoir! Ca-va bien, merci!” (White person, white person, good afternoon! I am fine, thank you!)

For every question you answered as “A” or “B”, give yourself 0 points, for every “C” give yourself 1 point, for every “D” give yourself 2 points.

If you got a score of 0, you're adjustment to Bénin is going to be pretty rough.

If you got a score of 1-6, you'll have a good time, but you'll probably still get frustrated occasionally.

If you got a score of 7-11, you'll fit right in.

If you got a score of 12, you've reached “local” status, and if you're not already living in Bénin, you should be!